I spoke too soon. My period has happily found me today and is kicking my ass. YESSSS!

Okay I think I have ruled out being pregnant this time. My temp was so low this morning I didn’t bother taking a test. Yep, no peeing on a stick for me. You know that must mean my temp was really low because I love doing those damn pregnancy tests. It’s like a mini science experiment. But, it’s okay though. I wasn’t looking forward to the possiblity of having to explain to my doctor why I didn’t listen to her and got pregnant. So at least I don’t have to do that. I was going to blame it on Preston anyway
But seriously I have never wanted my period so bad before. I just want it to get here, stay a very short time, and leave. That’s it. Is that too much to ask for? It “should” be here Sept. 1st or 2nd. That’s if it even comes. Maybe I didn’t ovulate like I think I did. Maybe my period isn’t coming… Maybe I’m so messed up that my period won’t come for months?!?!!! You see I obsess over this all day long. My poor husband.

P.S. Happy “1 Month Being Married” to me and my hubbin

So, either I’m getting my period soon or I am pregnant again. I have all the same “symptoms” right now that I had right before I found out I was pregnant last time, but… they are all similar to PMS symptoms so it could go either way. The only thing that makes me think I might be pregnant again is my nipples. Before I found out I was pregnant last time they were SO SORE I could hardly wear my bra. They are like that again right now. Sooo painful. I was supposed to wait to try again until after I got one normal period but I did a very, very bad job at “preventing” (what can I say, I’m a newlywed! lol) and so there is a strong chance I could actually be pregnant again. Needless to say that worries me a little, I think after having one miscarriage I’m going to always worry. But, my obgyn said there is no increased risk in getting pregnant right away. Especially since I recovered so quickly. I half way didn’t expect to have my cycle back on track so quickly. But then again, my cycle has always been like textbook clockwork and surprise, surprise… it appears that the miscarriage didn’t change that. I ovulated on day 14 like usual, and now PMS symptoms are showing up right on time. I feel blessed to have recoverd so quickly. I frequent a forum called “Two Week Wait” where thousands of women talk about their journey trying to conceive and damn… I just feel extremely blessed. Almost spoiled.
So there you have it. Now you know all about my woman-ness. I realized that after I got pregnant I started talking to anyone I could about all the weird and gross things happening to me. Imagine the conversations I could of started had I been even further along. Wow. I feel sorry for the people I talk to. Including you guys.

I’m determined to learn all the crap I’ve been missing out on from not working on websites. Such as php and css. I know a little bit about both but hardly anything. So you know I’m serious when I go out and buy “PHP 5 for Dummies” and “CSS for Dummies”! hahaha I’m special. Good stuff though, seriously.

I’m sorta mad at myself for falling out of the whole webdesign thing. If I had actually kept up on it I could be making my own wordpress theme right now instead of finding someone else to do it for me. And the thing is, I know I can do it. I just don’t feel like reading up on shit to figure it out. It would take me weeks. No, months. I know a little php but all of it is very basic and whatnot. Gah. I would be switching back to old school greymatter by now except it’s so basic and boring.
Part of me wants to dive in and figure it out because I know I can, and part of me wants to say screw it and go to bed. Ha. I guess I’m just lazy!

And hungry. So I’m going to eat now.