Wow. This has been one of the hardest days of my life.
On 8/01 I started bleeding heavy so I went to the ER because I was mega freaked out. They did an ultrasound and everything looked perfect, I saw the heart beat and everything. The doctor said the bleeding was probably normal because a lot of women have bleeding early on and that it’s probably nothing to be worried about unless it gets worse. Well I started getting bad period like cramps and the bleeding was not stopping. Today at 8:30am I had my first obgyn appointment. The bleeding was worse this morning than any of the other days. I had another ultrasound and this time they couldn’t find the heart beat.
They took me to a high resolution machine and still no heart beat. The baby looked so different on the screen this time than it did when I was in the ER and saw the heart beat. So, I have miscarried.
My body was bleeding but not passing any tissue yet. So I had the option of waiting to finish the miscarriage naturally, meaning that I would have to wait and actually see the tissue of the baby come out eventually, or get what is called a D&C. I was alreadying crying every time I went to the bathroom seeing blood each time, I could not imagine actually seeing the tissue. So I had a D&C today which is where they put you to sleep and clean your uterus out. It was a very short procedure. I don’t remember anything from being in pre-op until waking up in recovery. I got home about an hour ago and I am still very tired and dizzy when I stand up from being put under. I am not supposed to get out of bed except to use the bathroom for the next few days until the bleeding stops.
I am so, so, sad but I know that everything happens for a reason and I know that our baby is with God now. We are going to try again to get pregnant as soon as we can. My ob said that I will get a period in about 4-6 weeks and then once that period is over I can try again. I’m so sad but I also have peace knowing that it just wasn’t meant to be and that we will have a baby in God’s time. It’s still really hard though. 
Well I am going to lay down. No pictures back yet from the wedding but I will post some as soon as I have some!













August 4th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
I’m so sorry Sarah. This entry almost brought tears to my eyes, especially knowing how excited you were and how much you were looking forward to the baby. But you’re right, everything does happen for a reason and whatever it may be, it must have been one with good reason. I’m sure once everything is settled with your body, you’ll conceive again and bring that beautiful child into the world.
August 4th, 2006 at 9:52 pm
I’m so sorry to hear that and sorry you had to go through it all. I hope you have a quick recovery and that everything works out for you in the (near) future with a baby. Take care and get your rest
August 4th, 2006 at 10:18 pm
so sorry to hear that sarah
nothing anyone can say will make it any easier.
August 4th, 2006 at 11:55 pm
oh sweety, thats so sad, but like you said everything happens for a reason. I’m sure you will get preg soon enough, when its the right time and everthing. Take care of yourself right now.
August 5th, 2006 at 1:13 am
I’m really sorry Sarah.
I miscarried in May (it was my first child) and it was awful; I naturally passed everything. There are a lot of great miscarriage websites/boards, I’d suggest joining one - great information and support. But like you said, everything happens for a reason. Best of luck to you and hope you recover well.
August 5th, 2006 at 3:23 am
Oh no, that is so sad.
I hope you’re okay.
August 5th, 2006 at 7:35 am
awwwa Sarah I am terribly sorry. I suffered a miscarriage a few years ago and it is tough. Keep your head up! Its a rough time and everything does happen for a reason but its really hard to accept I know!
I’m glad to see you guys want to try again… I did and a month later I got pregnant with my son! 3 years later after I had him here I am again due in 10 weeks… so things do happen for a reason and things will get better and work out in the end! hugs!
August 5th, 2006 at 7:47 am
I’m so so sorry. I think it’s a “hidden secret” how many woman miscarry or get pregnate and miscarry without ever knowing. Take care and let your body heal. We are all thinking of you.
August 5th, 2006 at 8:26 am
First off, I want to say.. Damn, your so strong! Just your whole accepting what God has planned for you attitude is more than amazing, It really does show your strength.. I admire that, I’m sure a lot of people do!
I’m really sorry about this. No woman should ever go through this
But you have a wonderful *Husband* (hehe, how does it sound when people say that? LOL! Congrats on the marriage bebe!), family and friends. With much love & support, you’ll get through this and you’ll accomplish SO SO much more 
Relax a little
August 5th, 2006 at 9:03 am
I’m sorry babe
Everything is for the best and I have no doubt that it’s what God plans. I’m glad you’re safe though, and glad you’re wedding went well!
August 5th, 2006 at 11:31 am
I saw the blog title and length at the same instant, eyes watered up a bit, and thought …”Oh my GOD”. Then I proceeded to read.
You ARE very strong, and you’re quite right in your assesment that everything does happen for a reason.
You can take heart that you’ve got time and youth on your side, and I just wanna wish you all the best, because you deserve it!
August 5th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
this is just horrible. but your attitude about it is amazing and God WILL and is taking care of you & your husband & your baby he has planned for you.
i’m very sorry but i know that with the love you & your hubbie seem to share, you’ll make it through this beautifully.
August 5th, 2006 at 9:16 pm
I am deeply sorry to hear that sarah. Miscarriages happen 95% of the time because there was a problem with the baby, and hopefully you can get pregnant again soon, and raise a healthy happy baby xoxo
you will be in my thoughts.
August 5th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
I am so sorry to hear what happened. you seemed really excited about the baby…it’s alright, everything will be okay. so sorry to hear about this…truly. congrats on your new marriage, i am newlywed too…just be with your husband and everything will be alright.
August 5th, 2006 at 11:16 pm
I’m so sorry Sarah
That’s so heartbreaking. I know how happy you were
Like you said, some things just happen for a reason, and your baby is in Heaven now♥ *hugs*
August 6th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Sarah I’m so so sorry.
August 6th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
I’ve been reading your site for about 3 years and I have never posted a comment. I’m sad that the first time I do is to say I share your loss and I understand what you’re going through. I lost my baby boy at 5 and a half months and was induced 3 days later to deliver him like a normal delivery 2 weeks ago. I went in for a normal check up and my dr went to check the heart beat and it wasn’t there….
I’m so sorry for your loss and what you have to go through emotionally.
On a postive note, congratulations on your marriage!
August 7th, 2006 at 11:40 pm
I’m very, very sorry for your loss. *hug*
August 9th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
Sorry Sarah for your loss, I hope you and your husband feel better soon. You will be a great mother soon
August 10th, 2006 at 3:29 am
i am soo very very sorry. your time will come until then just know that you have so many people thinking about you.
August 18th, 2006 at 8:16 am
I’m so sorry for your loss, sweetie.