10:07 pm ~ 
Filed Under:
Church, Life (Or Something Like It)
I’m having a huge personal dilemma right now.
Should we raise our girls to believe in Santa Claus? Or the Easter Bunny? Or anything along those lines?
I didn’t even know what Christmas or Easter was really about until I was in my late teens. Really. I didn’t grow up “religious”, which I’m fine with because I’ve since become a Christian. But the fact is that I never really knew what these holidays were about. I thought it was about some fat guy coming down the chimney and some huge bunny bringing me a basket and hiding eggs in my house. It was fun and I loved those things as a kid, but now that I know what these holidays are really about, I’m having a problem with passing that on to mine and Preston’s children.
Think about it. I want and hope that my children will believe in God, I plan on raising them in church, and so what happens if I tell them that God is real, and then I tell them that Santa Claus is real… and then one day they find out Santa Claus is not real… how would I expect them to believe that God is real? I realize God is a lot bigger than Santa Claus but you get what I’m saying. Also, I just have an overall issue with convincing my kids that some guy comes into the house through the chimney and brings them gifts, or that a bunny hides eggs and brings them a basket. These are not things I’ve ever had to put any thought into before. I’m glad that they are too little for their first Christmas to remember it because I really have no idea what the “right” thing to do is.
I asked my husband what he thought about this and honestly I was surprised with his answer. I think I caught him off guard with it and he didn’t have time to think about it. He said that it’s just a fun tradition for kids and it helps them to believe in things they cannot see. Him being a former youth minister, this answer surprised me. I’ve always been able to count on my husband to help me understand things about God/Jesus/Being a Christian so like I said, that answer threw me off because… Christmas is about the birth of Jesus, Jesus = God, God = believing what you cannot see. I’m sure that given some time to think about it his reply would be different.
I want to find a happy medium with this. Maybe teach them what these holidays are truly supposed to be about, and then tell them the story of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but emphasize that it’s only a story and that Santa and the Easter Bunny are not real. Then I would be afraid of them telling other little kids some day that Santa is not real and breaking their hearts. But… I would be completely okay with that if they were able to tell other little kids what Christmas really is.
Which makes me think even more into this subject… I hate what Christmas is made out to be. It’s all about companies making money and some fat jolly guy in a red suit. It’s sad how far away the holiday is from what it really should be. Which also makes me think… what’s the big deal with Christmas in the first place? Let me be more specific… obviously the birth of Jesus is something to celebrate if you are a Christian… but why isn’t Easter more heavily celebrated? I would think that as a Christian, Easter… the resurrection of Christ, would be just as celebrated, if not more, than the birth of Christ. But… America in general doesn’t celebrate Christmas for what it should be anyway and so I’m not surprised that Easter is, by a large portion of the population, not as important of a holiday. Or maybe on the outside it just doesn’t look like it is as heavily celebrated. I know at our church Easter was huge, but that’s at church, which is to be expected.
I dunno. Thoughts?
December 14th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
Perhaps you can treat them to a story about the real Saint Nicholas of Myra, who spent his life being generous to the poor? The original Santa Claus, basically.
I plan to teach my children that ‘Santa’ is a popular figure, like any other cartoon, then use the idea of giving gifts to remind them of how lucky they are to have anything at all. We grew up poor, but every Christmas my father would talk to us about giving to those less fortunate, or thinking of others, or being kind. My family was religious but it was more about helping others than anything else.
December 15th, 2007 at 12:03 am
My husband and I had this same discussion, as I was puzzled by what to say. We still haven’t come up with a “real” answer to this issue. I wish you and Preston luck! If you do come up with something, be sure to let us know!
December 15th, 2007 at 12:55 am
I grew up in a religious household also believing in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, etc. I came to the realization that Santa didn’t exist rather gently when I was about 8 (when my Mom slept through her “tooth fairy duties” three nights in a row) and then had fun playing “Santa” for my little brother. I still believe in God. Here’s the thing though- I think that kids are facing tougher things out there now than I did. I wouldn’t put it past a some overly-educated 5 year old to present some argument to your kids about not believing in things you can’t see. I don’t have children yet, and this is my first Christmas with my new husband. We’ve talked about this very issue a little- and I still haven’t come to a conclusion. I know it worked out ok for me- but I think I’m going to actively concentrate on Christ through Christmastime when I have kids (and now, even). For instance, have special pictures of Jesus as a baby that I take out only this time of year (so that they’re special and we don’t start to just look right past them). As for Santa Claus, I think I plan on being a little mysterious. I’ll tell the kids about it in passing (as in answer to a “who is that?” question after they see a picture somewhere) and emphasize that Santa is a man who represents Christ’s love and the spirit of giving we should feel at Christmas- then I think it’s ok to tell Santa’s story, and that “people say” he travels the world leaving presents for the good children on Christmas Eve. When they say, “Do you believe that Mom?” I’ll say, “I don’t know, sounds pretty magical and wonderful to me!” That way they can believe for as long as they want- and we can “play” at Santa Claus- but not worry about all the implications. That way Christmas is founded on Christ- and Santa is just a fun extra. It’s tricky- and who knows if I’ll still think this as I think about it more. But just some (long-winded…
thoughts to ponder.
December 15th, 2007 at 9:07 am
I think you should do what you feel is best. I never grew up religious but I always belived in Santa, The easter bunny, tooth fairy…etc and we still celebrated it all… and I’m doing that with my kids as well. But I’m in no way religious.
Its fun for kids. Plus, the majority of others celebrate and believe in these things, in school people talk about it..etc I dunno. You should do whats best for you and your family and your girls but just some things to keep in mind…. its always out there, it will be in schools…etc
December 15th, 2007 at 9:46 am
raise your children, how you see fit. I’m sure either way, regarding the decision that you make that it will be the best for you and the family. Maybe talk to Ashton about it all and see what her view is on the whole situation (if she knows the whole deal and what not)
December 15th, 2007 at 12:58 pm
well, seeing that i was raised in a christian home and still did the santa claus thing, i can say that it is a harmless thing. when i found out santa wasnt real, i still liked to play along and wouldnt have traded the years of fun it gave me for anything…its really a tradition, and think about this: what if your girls are the only kids in school who dont believe in santa claus? that might be a little uncomfortable for them. preston and kathy and me of course understood that christmas is all about the birth of Christ, but we also had fun preteneding that santa was delivering gifts. so i guess it is simply a matter of what u feel like doing in your own home.
December 15th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
My sister and I just talked about how Christmas is not what it used to be even from when we were growing up. We were not raised in a household that was very religous, but we “believed” in Santa for a little bit. I found out he wasn’t real when we lived in Germany. Santa Claus to Germans is different than it is to Americans, so needless to say my sisters and I figured it out, but it was still fun to play along. I never ran around school telling everyone he wasn’t real, but I remember some kids who did. But think of it this way, kids are going to be kids, and whether they “spoil” the myth of Santa or some other story, it eventually will be revealed that these things aren’t real. And I agree with everyone who said it is really just a fun tradition. But you won’t be wrong for either way you choose to go on this situation. Kids do need to understand what Christmas is truly about though.
December 15th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
I just want to second what Kara said. We always just knew that Christmas was to celebrate the birth of Jesus, but we also had fun with the whole Santa thing… You can have both if you choose.
December 15th, 2007 at 2:34 pm
sorry, but just wanted to add one more thing… I became a Christian when I was only 5. But I understood that God was real. I knew I couldn’t see him, but I could feel him. There is a huge difference (as you well know) when you know that God is real. You can sense his presence everywhere. I think that children are in tune to that (I know I wasn’t alone) and will know the difference between Santa’s imaginary existence and God’s actual one. I don’t know if I’m making sense, sorry if I’m rambling…lol
December 15th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
I guess I’m just being silly at the thought of “lying” to my kids LOL! I asked my mom about it and she said she felt bad at first also but it’s just something that comes and goes and that most likely I won’t feel bad about it at all.
I’m just thinking about it too much!
December 15th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
When I found out that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny weren’t real, I was really hurt. I felt like I had been duped.
That being said, it NEVER even crossed my mind to believe that God wasn’t real. My faith stayed strong well in to my teens.
I felt duped because when my parents finally explained that Santa, et al, weren’t real, I realized how obvious it all was. Duh! A man making it to every child’s house in one night. Of course it wasn’t real. But God was different, you can always feel God. There’s nothing magic or make believe about it.
I agree with Preston, even with the shock of finding out those things weren’t real, I wouldn’t trade the joy I felt as a kid believing in them.
Ps - My parents let us believe in Santa, but always taught the true meaning of Christmas too. Every Christmas Eve we read the story of the birth of Jesus, and then at night we went to sleep waiting for Santa!
December 15th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
I grew up in a house where I went to church every Sunday and believed in the easter bunny/santa etc. I learned santa/easter bunny weren’t real at a young age but I believed in god up until about a year ago. So I don’t think that it really impacts children that much if you try and give them a bit of fun. I’d also be really pissed if some kid told my kid that santa wasn’t real.
December 15th, 2007 at 5:53 pm
What is this about…you mean santas not real????? he visits me and my family every year! even my mom still gets visits from santa and shes in her 50’s! Dont tell my mom santas not real she would be crushed :P
BTW, i was brought up southern baptist and altho i do not do the weekly church thing now my parents are very active in the church, church is their life, and santa still comes to their house too :P
its just a fun heartwarming tradition that people enjoy for their life, wether its getting their own santa stuff or being santa for others
December 15th, 2007 at 9:20 pm
Eventually, you and Preston will find that happy medium - whether it’s to do the Santa Claus business or not do it at all, but at the same time you have to be prepared for questions by the girls later in life when they wonder why they don’t do “santa claus” and other children do. I, at least, hope that being a Christian you wouldn’t absolutely shut off your children from the little joyful things like that because in the end, it really is harmless. I just know people that attend my church who have smaller children who won’t even let their kids participate in certain things having to do with “Santa.” If it’s about Jesus then they are all for it, but Santa is a big no no.
As for the holiday thing - you make the holidays out to be whatever you want them to be. If you want to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, then you do so. If you want it to be like the companies have made it out to be then you do so. I can’t say unforunately because not everyone believes the way you do and not everyone is Christian but that is the reason WHY more emphasis is NOT put on the “real meaning” behind Christmas, if you get what I’m saying. If we lived in a “perfect world, where everyone was a Christian” I am sure there wouldn’t be a Santa Claus and Christmas being about gifts and what you receive from other people, but about the actual birth of J.C.
December 15th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Kids grow up FAR too fast anymore! I think the belief in Santa represents innocence and, like Preston said, faith in believing in something you can’t see. I was raised in a Christian home and celebrated with the idea of Santa. Looking back now, it was one of my best childhood memories. I honestly think that it will be a positive thing for the girls. Trust me, they will not hold it against you! Do you feel angry with your mom for not telling you Santa isn’t real? If anything I’m sure you appreciated the warm holiday memories and all the trouble your mom went through to make Christmas special for you! Just my thoughts for what it’s worth! =)
December 16th, 2007 at 1:37 am
when i was getting older, i once asked a store santa, “is santa claus real?” and he pulled me toward him and said
“is love real?”
“yes.”
“are happiness and giving and thankfulness real?”
“yes.”
“are kindness and excitement real?”
“yes.”
“well do you think santa claus represents all of those things?”
“well…. yes.”
“then isn’t santa claus *real*?”
and to be honest, it was the best answer i’ve ever gotten. i see no harm in children believing in santa claus - because “his” message is SO peaceful and wonderful. be good to people & you will be rewarded.
by the time the children are old enough to start questioning santa claus, you can explain that santa claus isn’t as much a real person as he is a feeling / tradition & that you gave them presents in the spirit of Christmas/Santa Claus.
and if they say, “well what about God,” say well that’s very similar - people believe in God even though he’s not a real person walking on Earth right now, etc.
you pick what’s best for your family, though… but i can’t imagine being raised not thinking there was a santa… even for a few years.
December 16th, 2007 at 10:38 am
I didnt grow up with any type of religious knowledge however I did run into some people at age ten who’ve helped me realize the truth about these kinds of things and the fact of the matter is, why would you want to lie to your children? I mean yes, its fun and all but there shouldent be a holiday involved just to bring presents to the table. You should have frequent get togethers and explain to the children what is most important during the whole year, not just holiday seasons. I’ve been thinking alot about these things myself. Im having a child soon and I’ll have to have this stuff figured out real quick like also. Good luck with everything.
December 16th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Your website still remains one of those sites that never fails to inspire me to start writing and blogging again - it’s been years - literally and people have been nudging me to get back into it and share my work with a blog but I’ve been completely against it for different reasons… then I stop in here at the urging of a good friend and I remember how cool it can be to express yourself daily and mix the art aspect all together… this site is gorg! I especially love the real elements used in your design with the paper and string and other textures, here it comes… how did you do it? Where do you get your images from? ALSO ALSO ALSO can you recommend a great free font site to get some unique styles? If I’m gonna jump back into this thing I’d like to do it totally different…
Your children are BEAUTIFUL by the way! What a proud mommy you must be…
December 16th, 2007 at 5:33 pm
I am right with you on this. My daughter is almost three this year and we really just never “did” Santa Clause with her. We didn’t deliberately avoid it, it just kind of never happened. I am ok with that. I thought it might be a big conflict since I am a believer and my hubby is not, but for now he seems ok with it. She hasn’t really shown much interest in Santa anyway, so I’m glad about that.
I great up believing in Santa until I was like, 10 (I was naive) and I was in church since I was 9 and I never really had any conflict with Santa being fake and God being real. I accepted that believing in Santa was something fun for little kids and never really made a comparison.
December 17th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
What my sister and her family do is they have santa a few days before Christmas and let them know what Christmas is REALLY about, but they still let them have their gifts. Then on Christmas eve they go to church and when they come home my sister makes a special “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake and they sing happy birthday and talk about what Christmas really means. They’ve done this since my niece was little and she’s now 11. The kids absoultely love it and they look forward to the “Birthday Patry” way more than santa. I know you’ll make the best decision for your family.
December 18th, 2007 at 11:15 pm
Erin, Rae, my sisters.. everyone really… you all had such good things to say about Christmas. It’s really neat seeing what everyone has done and feels about Christmas in their life. As Kara and Kathy (my gorgeous sisters!) said, I was raise in a Christian home, being that we were taught things that directed our life for the sake of Christ. We believed in Santa Claus, because it was fun. We believe in Christ, because like Kathy said, He is real. I’m one of those fortunate people that had a mom that showed me what God did, but mostly by the way He carried us through our childhood. My hope is to be able to center my kids around the life that God gives us everyday. I think its harmless to have fun with the holiday extras such as Santa Claus. Just like Kathy said, Santa is obviously fun, and magical, and we knew the very distinct difference between that and God, even without being able to describe it at the time.
JL… isn’t this blog awesome? Sarah is an amazing writer. She seems to capture the attention of people when she writes. She has a very intriguing way of carrying people along with her words. When I read her blog entries, I find myself deep into what she says. She’s just very talented that way.
I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas this year. I am really trying hard to evaluate my own personal life around this time, because I know that God has given me so much and I give back so little. SInce Christmas is about giving, its only fitting that I take a step back and see what I’m giving back. To whom?
God… of course silly…